Author Archives: Victoria

About Victoria

Writer. Comic. Snarky NHL fan. Favorite teams: Canucks. Penguins. Canadiens. Favorite players: Jordan Staal, Maxim Lapierre, Kris Letang, Alex Burrows Teams I hate: Boston Bruins, Chicago Blackhawks, Washington Capitals Players I hate: Alex Ovechkin, Dustin Byfuglien, the entire Bruins team What do I do in the off-season: I go to europe and run with bulls in Pamplona Spain. (no, seriously)

Dear Vancouver Canucks, I don’t believe.

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Dear Vancouver Canucks,

I now know how my parents felt when I got bad grades in school and they knew I was smart. They knew I wasn’t trying. That I didn’t seem to care. They watched me physically and mentally CHOSE to fail and they could not do a single thing about it. I’m sure my parents will thank you for that life lesson. Me? I’m too angry to thank you.

You are simply and truly not living up to your potential. You haven’t all season, except for that one game against Chicago. Just like the year before, except that one game again Boston. The core of this team have achieved greatness a great many times and made it seem like it wasn’t an achievement, it was simply normal. Kesler, Bieksa, Henrik, Daniel, Burrows, Edler.  Lapierre, Higgins, Raymond, Luongo, Schneider – YOU ALL made a Stanley Cup final possible 2 years ago. TOGETHER. So how is it possible that this year (and last) you look like a bunch of guys who have never played together let alone made it to a GAME SEVEN FINAL together?

You clearly don’t believe in yourselves anymore and even more evidently, you do not believe in each other.  I refuse to believe you are all too old, past your prime, missed your chance. But it’s not ME who has to refuse to believe it – IT’S YOU.

Sidney Crosby and the Pittsburgh Penguins lost in G6 in 2008 but they didn’t let the world tell them they’d missed their only shot. They wouldn’t get a shot again for years, people said. They came back the very next year and believed they could still win it and they did win it. Detroit has won back-to-back Stanley Cups. There is no reason at all, on paper, that you can’t make it all the way to the end this year and win it.

Coming back from a 3-0 series deficit seems impossible, but you must have believed that getting past round 1 was impossible or we wouldn’t be in this situation. I have been going to a lot of Los Angeles Kings games now that I live here. Last night they went down 2-0 pretty early to the Blues. They stayed behind or tied throughout 2 periods, but you know what they didn’t do? They didn’t give up They didn’t meltdown. They treated every time they had a puck on their stick like it was a chance – BECAUSE IT’S ALWAYS A CHANCE. They took shots – some had little hope of going in but they took them anyway. It kept them in the game, it kept their mentality on winning and when the real opportunities came up – and they could take the shots that count – they could make them goals. Because they were ready. They never stopped trying so they never had to “start” trying.

A few other teams have this kind of work ethic. Detroit owns this kind of game play, as Anaheim is finding out. YOU, Vancouver Canucks,  used to have this kind of game mentality. Now you’re just a bunch of frustrated, pissy emotional babies. Seriously.

STFU and stop making excuses, apologies or complaints to the media. Stop talking to them at all. Nobody wants to hear your crap. Don’t let the media in pre-game. Talk to each other instead. Figure out where you lost your way. Why the Sedins aren’t scoring. Why Burrows isn’t. Where Higgins and Raymond have gone. Why Bieksa and Edler can no longer cover the opposition effectively. TALK IT OUT and find your way again.

Ask yourself why? Why do you find it so impossible to do what you’ve already done? You KNOW you can get out fo the first round, you know you can beat San Jose, because YOU HAVE.

I will always love you but right now you’re giving me no reason to believe in you. Give me a reason to believe in you again. Please. I’m begging you.

 

5 Ways to Keep Busy in the Lockout

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It’s official. The NHL is in full lockout mode. The whole season may or may not be lost, only time will tell, but chances are the season won’t start as scheduled. Here’s some ways to keep hockey alive in your heart, or just keep busy, while we wait for the NHL to give us what we want and deserve – a season.

Make a Gary Bettman Voodoo Doll
Crafts are a great way to pass the time. They keep your hands busy and keep you away from mindless TV and boring sports like football or the World Series. Why not make your own homemade voodoo doll. Better yet, a Gary Bettman voodoo doll! Make sure you have LOTS of pins!

Go No-Pro
Let’s face it, just because the big boys can’t figure it out doesn’t mean hockey is completely dead. There’s always the minors. These guys will one day be the big boys so support them now and see them while the seats are affordable. There’s the Chicago Wolves, with the loveable Eddie Lack (the future Robin to Schneider’s Batman) to cheer for or the Abbottsford Heat. Heck you can even just hang around 8 Rinks and watch beer league. Whatever it takes, people. Whatever it takes…

Re-Watch the 2010 Olympic Hockey
Let’s face it. This was amazing hockey, especially if you’re Canadian. And even if you aren’t, chance are there were members of your favorite team on Team Canada’s 2010 Olympic team. Hawks fans have Toews to cheer, Vancouver fans had Luongo, NJD fans – Brodeur, Pens – Sid and Fleury, Canes fans – Eric Staal. Leafs fans….. sorry no Leafs players on this winning team but you’re used to watching other teams win anyway. You can buy the whole series and watch the entire Olympic run – both mens and womens. It’ll keep hockey alive in your heart.

Youtube it!
When all else fails and you need a hockey fix, head to youtube. There are some really
great clips of just about every team. Interviews, recaps, montage videos are all there. You can watch Claude Giroux’s get a Gordie Howe hattrick, follow a Canuck for a day or even watch Blackhawks face-off against Blackhawks in a popsicle eating contest. No seriously…

Donate $ to Charity
What does this have to do with hockey, you say? Well, every team has a few organizations and causes they support, right? For the Canucks it’s Mind Check, Autism Network and Canucks Place. A lot of money comes into these organizations because hockey is being played – through 50/50 draws and other events associated with the actual game being played. If there’s not games, these charities aren’t getting the same donations. So take the money you would have spent on tickets to that Bruins-Canucks match-up you were dying to see in person and donate it to one of the Canucks’ charities instead. It’ll make you feel good… maybe not as good as watching Hamhuis hipcheck Marchand but it’s a  close second.

Bonus Option:  Live in Denial
If none of these options appeal to you and you just can’t wrap your head around losing the best sport out there, then simply pretend it’s not happening. Denial doesn’t just have to be a river in Egypt people. Wear your jerseys on the days that we’re supposed to be Game days, talk to the Barista at Starbucks about how well your doing in your hockey pool, ask your boss if he saw that sick hat trick by Ballard last night (hey, if you’re going to seem crazy, may as well seem REALLY crazy)! It may not bring hockey back but it might get you time off work and a psychiatrist to help you through the lockout.

The Season of Big, Hard Changes

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Now that the 2012 season is over, it’s time to look back and reflect. For me there is one thing that really rings true – making the big, hard changes can change everything. Exhibit A: The Los Angeles Kings. Also now known as the first team in NHL history to enter the playoffs as an 8th seed and win Lord Stanley’s coveted Cup.

They didn’t have a stellar season, hence cinching the last spot in the West. But from the minute the 2010-2011 season ended the Kings started to do what more than a few teams are afraid to – they made big, hard changes. Their first was acquiring Mike Richards from the Flyers last year when they had their “fire sale”. Unfortunately, Mike alone, didn’t solve their problems. Was he a big, hard change that backfired? I would say no. He had a productive season but just wasn’t the motivator that I think the Kings expected. Until LA also acquired his partner in crime, Jeff Carter (more on that in a second).

While struggling early in the season, the Kings fired their coach Terry Murray. Why is this a big, hard change? Because is can lead to chaos in the middle of a season that’s already not going well. Luckily for them it paid off. The introduction of Darryl Sutter seemed to motivate and light a fire under the Kings collective butts. And then came the aforementioned Jeff Carter.

Can we just talk about Carter’s luck for a moment? Traded from continual contenders Philly, to the hopeless Columbus where he struggled, and then suddenly whisked West just in time to make the Playoffs. Talk about a rollercoaster career!

The trade for Carter was another big, hard change for LA. Sure they gave away a defensemen, which isn’t a big deal because the Kings had a plethora of talent in that field, but they also gave a first round draft pick. That is a bigger deal, especially considering they were trading for a guy with a reputation for having a so-so work ethic (Carter in Philly was apparently an underachiever on the ice and an overachiever in the bars) and was having a really disappointing season at the time of the trade. For CBJ Carter was a -11 and only had 15 goals and 10 assists. But LA took the chance that this previous top goal scorer could be that way again with his old center and best bud Richards and a better team. It could have gone horribly awry very easily but as the world now knows, it didn’t.

Other big, hard changes to reflect on now that the 2011-2012 season is in the record books? Philadelphia Flyers trading Carter and Richards in the first place and acquiring Bryzgalov. This is a example, in my humble hockey opinion, of big hard changes that bite you in the butt. Now to be fair it wasn’t so much the trading of Richards that was a mistake. Sure he went on to win a Stanley Cup but that wasn’t because of his hard work alone. In fact before adding Carter and a new coach, Richards was exactly carrying the team on his back. He was just another struggling Kings forward. And Simmonds, who Philly snagged in return, was a pretty good addition to the Flyers. He’s done well and is a strong asset for them. Same goes with Carter. Sure he was the Flyers top goal scorer but Claude Giroux more than picked up that slack, as did Briere during the playoffs.

What really makes this big hard change one that backfired is that the Flyers traded both elite forwards to clear cash goalie for Ilya Brygalov. The tiger loving, Universe philosopher of a goalie was luke warm and cold all season long, never hot or, more importantly, consistent. And in that final game of the Flyers playoff run he essentially scored on his own net. As if his underwhelming performance wasn’t enough to call this a failed gamble, Flyers gave Bryz a rumored 51-million, nine-year deal. Signing any player to a monumental contract like that is sheer insanity in my opinion, especially if it’s a goalie. Which leads me to an example of a team that did the same – The Vancouver Canucks.

Luongo is locked in with a big contract and a no trade clause. And subtly through the 2011-2012 season it seemed like despite the contract Vancouver was making a big hard change – Cory Schneider was becoming their number 1 goalie. That was made crystal clear when, without having to have an 8-goal meltdown, Luongo was benched in the playoffs in favor of Schneider. For Vancouver, who is all about the steady and doesn’t do big hard changes this is a big deal. Why do I say Vancouver doesn’t make big hard changes? Well they just gave both GM Gillis and Head Coach Vigneault contract extensions despite the fact that their biggest hardware is a couple President Trophies. Sure that’s something, but not really. I mean ask yourself this – when kids play road hockey how many of them pretend it’s a President Trophy winning game? Exactly. If it ain’t Stanley, it’s not good enough.

So will this shift in number one goalies be a big hard change the Canucks stick with? Maybe, but maybe not. Luongo has agreed to be traded but who can afford him and who wants him? He’s over 30, past his “prime” and, although he has more epic saves than epic meltdowns, his press is mostly bad. Also Schneider is younger and has what seems to be a better mental grip on the game. So if Gillis gets what he considers a bigger better offer for Schneids will he take it? Maybe. But hopefully Vancouver sticks by the statement they made last season. Because the Canucks need to get comfortable with big hard changes or they’ll never get a Cup. Tried and true doesn’t seem to win Lord Stanley’s Cup anymore.

Round 1 Review: The 2012 Playoffs

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It was the best of times, it was the worst of times….. I’m a Canucks fan and a Penguins fan so it was just the worst of times, actually. Sigh. Anyway, here’s the best and worst highlights of Round 1 of the 2012 Stanley Cup Playoffs.

Best Series
This has to go to the Flyers and the Penguins. Everyone knew that it would be epic but I don’t think anyone expected the Pens to lose 3 straight. Marc Andre Fleury was unbelievably very un-Fleury. To me, it looks like he might have been nursing some sort of injury – possibly groin, as his 5-hole was open like a drive-thru window. That was never revealed in the post press conference though so I’m probably wrong.

Flyers infuriated Sid the Kid

Then just when you thought it was over, Pens were on like Donkey Kong scoring 10 goals in game 4. Jordan Beast-Mode Staal even got a playoff hat trick. Sadly though they barely showed up in Game 6, which is standard Pens form for a day game, which this was. I’m just sad that they finally played how you would expect them to play at the most inopportune time. The highlight and lowlight of this series had to be Crosby losing his mind and behaving like a six year old. After trying to fight everyone in Game 3 and causing both Letang and Adams to get kicked out of the game for jumping in and defending him, he then sticked Voracek’s glove across the ice and in the post-game presser declared “I don’t like anyone on their team.”  I’m sure Max Talbot spent that night locked in his room eating ice cream and listening to bad 80s love songs after that. The bromance they’ve been fostering since Juniors is clearly over and he had to find out on national television!

Worst Series
Hmm…. It would have to be Vancouver-Los Angeles. There just wasn’t any fight from the best in the league, and even if I wasn’t a fan of the Canucks, I would find that depressing. Because I am a huge fan of the Canucks, I find it heartbreaking. It wasn’t that the Canucks were out skilled – they have more skill in one line (Sedin-Sedin-Burrows) than the Kings have in 4 lines – the problem is Henrik, Luongo and Schneider were the only ones trying in the first 3 games. Daniel thankfully came back from concussion and tried hard in Games 4 and 5 but 2 guys and a good goalie can’t dig you out of a 3-game hole. The writing is on the wall that big changes should and probably will be made in Vancouver after this Round 1 loss. The first change will probably be in goaltending but I wouldn’t be surprised if other “Stars” besides Luongo aren’t there come October. More on that in another post.

Biggest Hero
I’m giving this to Joel Ward for one simple goal that knocked out the Stanley Cup Champion Boston Bruins. A great deal of hockey fans were thrilled to see the Dirty Bear bite it. Let’s face it their play is rough and borderline dangerous and gets progressively worse the deeper they go in playoffs. It was nice to see them out early. Also, for the Washington Capitals, it was great to see them make it through Round 1 despite their “stars” not trying at all (as per usual in playoffs).

Biggest Goat
Mason Raymond, Ryan Kesler and Alex Edler. The three musketeers when it comes tofalling down, missing checks, missing nets and passing directly to the opposition. Maybe I should call them the 3 Stooges but at least the Stooges make you cry. These three made Canucks fans cry.

Creeptastic. Barf.

Worst Playoff Beard
Tim Thomas. Because it’s not a beard it’s a creepy “I drive a windowless van and loiter near playgrounds” moustache.

Best Playoff Beard
This is all Maxim Lapierre. It was full, well groomed and sexy as all hell. No really, check it out in the pic up above. And this is also the last time I can say “Max Lapierre” until next season so I had to give it to him  - so I could say the pretty boy’s pretty name one more time.

 

For my picks on who’ll win round 2, which I’m already late on announcing and wrong in predicting (since this is going up way late and Kings have already swept the Blues) head to  Canucks Hockey Blog

Dear Vancouver Canucks

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Dear Vancouver Canucks,

Here we go again. Me writing open letters, you in the playoffs. Only this time, the do or die part has come a little earlier than anyone expected.

I wish I knew what to say here. I wish I was confident and passionate like I was right until the end of Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final last year. But this year… call it a Cup hangover, but I’m just not so zealous.

I don’t hate the Kings like I hate the Hawks or the Bruins, probably because I have never had to before. They’re a non-factor. So I’m more perplexed than anything that they are some how a factor suddenly. Maybe that’s why they became a factor. Because you, like me, don’t have a hateful fire burning deep for them.

Honestly, I don’t know. But I do know I believe in your talents. I know you have it in you. The core did it last year and I see no reason why you can’t do it again. The newbies – Booth, Kassian, Pahlsson – should be full of drive. It’s become an easy, over-used catch phrase but it’s also a hard truth – THIS is what YOU live for. As an NHL player there should be nothing you try harder at than getting as close to Lord Stanley’s cup as humanly possible.

You’ve gone on winning streaks before and you can do it again. I don’t buy the hype that “playoffs are different” and neither should you. Let’s be honest you guys face scrutiny from media, hate from around Canada and the league and attacks from “fans” year round so this is just another day as a Vancouver Canuck.

Who cares if the odds are stacked against you? Who cares if the math is not in your favor? Who cares if the Kings twitter is run by a Communications department that thinks bad attention is better than no attention? You’ve dealt with worse.

Schneider or Luongo it doesn’t matter – you both have the talent and the ability to blank the Kings. Kesler, find that strength, patience and determination that had you carry the entire team on your back for large parts of last year’s run. I believe it’s still in you – dig deep and find it. Burr, picture a rolling puck and Crawford in net with every freaking shot you take – and take every shot you can. Bieksa, find a stanchion and a puck and make them your bitch. Hamhuis and Henrik, you’ve been everything you could possibly be in this series so far so keep on keeping on. Lapierre focus on skating and pestering for the puck not the penalty. You have the potential to cause a Kings collapse, more so with your mouth shut than with it open. Believe in your hockey talent. Kassian, Weise, Booth – hit something! Hard and clean and as often as possible.

If I had to pick a team in Round 1 that’s likely to drop a lead – it would be the Los Angeles Kings. And if I had to pick a team that has the ability, stamina and talent to come back and win four in a row – it would be the Vancouver Canucks.

It’s do or die time. You have it in you to win this. In the words of the most passionate and dedicated Canucks I’ve ever known; I don’t just believe, I know. Go Canucks Go!

Sincerely,
Me