Round 1 Review: The 2012 Playoffs

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It was the best of times, it was the worst of times….. I’m a Canucks fan and a Penguins fan so it was just the worst of times, actually. Sigh. Anyway, here’s the best and worst highlights of Round 1 of the 2012 Stanley Cup Playoffs.

Best Series
This has to go to the Flyers and the Penguins. Everyone knew that it would be epic but I don’t think anyone expected the Pens to lose 3 straight. Marc Andre Fleury was unbelievably very un-Fleury. To me, it looks like he might have been nursing some sort of injury – possibly groin, as his 5-hole was open like a drive-thru window. That was never revealed in the post press conference though so I’m probably wrong.

Flyers infuriated Sid the Kid

Then just when you thought it was over, Pens were on like Donkey Kong scoring 10 goals in game 4. Jordan Beast-Mode Staal even got a playoff hat trick. Sadly though they barely showed up in Game 6, which is standard Pens form for a day game, which this was. I’m just sad that they finally played how you would expect them to play at the most inopportune time. The highlight and lowlight of this series had to be Crosby losing his mind and behaving like a six year old. After trying to fight everyone in Game 3 and causing both Letang and Adams to get kicked out of the game for jumping in and defending him, he then sticked Voracek’s glove across the ice and in the post-game presser declared “I don’t like anyone on their team.”  I’m sure Max Talbot spent that night locked in his room eating ice cream and listening to bad 80s love songs after that. The bromance they’ve been fostering since Juniors is clearly over and he had to find out on national television!

Worst Series
Hmm…. It would have to be Vancouver-Los Angeles. There just wasn’t any fight from the best in the league, and even if I wasn’t a fan of the Canucks, I would find that depressing. Because I am a huge fan of the Canucks, I find it heartbreaking. It wasn’t that the Canucks were out skilled – they have more skill in one line (Sedin-Sedin-Burrows) than the Kings have in 4 lines – the problem is Henrik, Luongo and Schneider were the only ones trying in the first 3 games. Daniel thankfully came back from concussion and tried hard in Games 4 and 5 but 2 guys and a good goalie can’t dig you out of a 3-game hole. The writing is on the wall that big changes should and probably will be made in Vancouver after this Round 1 loss. The first change will probably be in goaltending but I wouldn’t be surprised if other “Stars” besides Luongo aren’t there come October. More on that in another post.

Biggest Hero
I’m giving this to Joel Ward for one simple goal that knocked out the Stanley Cup Champion Boston Bruins. A great deal of hockey fans were thrilled to see the Dirty Bear bite it. Let’s face it their play is rough and borderline dangerous and gets progressively worse the deeper they go in playoffs. It was nice to see them out early. Also, for the Washington Capitals, it was great to see them make it through Round 1 despite their “stars” not trying at all (as per usual in playoffs).

Biggest Goat
Mason Raymond, Ryan Kesler and Alex Edler. The three musketeers when it comes tofalling down, missing checks, missing nets and passing directly to the opposition. Maybe I should call them the 3 Stooges but at least the Stooges make you cry. These three made Canucks fans cry.

Creeptastic. Barf.

Worst Playoff Beard
Tim Thomas. Because it’s not a beard it’s a creepy “I drive a windowless van and loiter near playgrounds” moustache.

Best Playoff Beard
This is all Maxim Lapierre. It was full, well groomed and sexy as all hell. No really, check it out in the pic up above. And this is also the last time I can say “Max Lapierre” until next season so I had to give it to him  - so I could say the pretty boy’s pretty name one more time.

 

For my picks on who’ll win round 2, which I’m already late on announcing and wrong in predicting (since this is going up way late and Kings have already swept the Blues) head to  Canucks Hockey Blog

Dear Vancouver Canucks

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Dear Vancouver Canucks,

Here we go again. Me writing open letters, you in the playoffs. Only this time, the do or die part has come a little earlier than anyone expected.

I wish I knew what to say here. I wish I was confident and passionate like I was right until the end of Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final last year. But this year… call it a Cup hangover, but I’m just not so zealous.

I don’t hate the Kings like I hate the Hawks or the Bruins, probably because I have never had to before. They’re a non-factor. So I’m more perplexed than anything that they are some how a factor suddenly. Maybe that’s why they became a factor. Because you, like me, don’t have a hateful fire burning deep for them.

Honestly, I don’t know. But I do know I believe in your talents. I know you have it in you. The core did it last year and I see no reason why you can’t do it again. The newbies – Booth, Kassian, Pahlsson – should be full of drive. It’s become an easy, over-used catch phrase but it’s also a hard truth – THIS is what YOU live for. As an NHL player there should be nothing you try harder at than getting as close to Lord Stanley’s cup as humanly possible.

You’ve gone on winning streaks before and you can do it again. I don’t buy the hype that “playoffs are different” and neither should you. Let’s be honest you guys face scrutiny from media, hate from around Canada and the league and attacks from “fans” year round so this is just another day as a Vancouver Canuck.

Who cares if the odds are stacked against you? Who cares if the math is not in your favor? Who cares if the Kings twitter is run by a Communications department that thinks bad attention is better than no attention? You’ve dealt with worse.

Schneider or Luongo it doesn’t matter – you both have the talent and the ability to blank the Kings. Kesler, find that strength, patience and determination that had you carry the entire team on your back for large parts of last year’s run. I believe it’s still in you – dig deep and find it. Burr, picture a rolling puck and Crawford in net with every freaking shot you take – and take every shot you can. Bieksa, find a stanchion and a puck and make them your bitch. Hamhuis and Henrik, you’ve been everything you could possibly be in this series so far so keep on keeping on. Lapierre focus on skating and pestering for the puck not the penalty. You have the potential to cause a Kings collapse, more so with your mouth shut than with it open. Believe in your hockey talent. Kassian, Weise, Booth – hit something! Hard and clean and as often as possible.

If I had to pick a team in Round 1 that’s likely to drop a lead – it would be the Los Angeles Kings. And if I had to pick a team that has the ability, stamina and talent to come back and win four in a row – it would be the Vancouver Canucks.

It’s do or die time. You have it in you to win this. In the words of the most passionate and dedicated Canucks I’ve ever known; I don’t just believe, I know. Go Canucks Go!

Sincerely,
Me

2012 Stanley Cup Playoffs Round 1

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Battle of the East

Henrik Lundqvist

New York Rangers vs Ottawa Senators
I think this is going to be a good battle. Ottawa has more fight in them than most people give them credit for. And I’d like to also add it’s nice to have another Canadian team in it. Unfortunately, I don’t think they’ll be two Canadian teams come round 2. NYR has been prepping for this since October. They’ve been fairly strong and steady. Ottawa not so much. If Lundqvist can be 100% then NYR will win this in 5. And seriously, if NYR loses they have to deal with a Torts tantrum, isn’t that motivation enough to win?
Win Da Turd predictsNYR in 5

Boston Bruins vs  Washington Capitals
The good news, for me is, by the end of round 1 one of these two teams I dislike immensely won’t be around anymore. The bad news is it won’t be the team I hate the most. The Capitals have had a very tumultuous season. And their goalie was injured. I don’t know if he’ll be back in time. And if he is, will he be 100%? And if he’s 100% is that enough to stop the Bruins? No. It’s not. Especially because Ovechkin and Semin will most likely do what they do every April – a whole lot of not much. And the Bruins will do what they do in playoffs – a whole lot of physical, questionably legal (and blatantly illegal but uncalled) damage. This is the first time in my life that I hope Ovie leaves his feet and isn’t penalized for it. Not that it’ll help the Caps win, but it would be nice to see the dirty bears get a bit of their own medicine.
Win Da Turd predicts Bruins in 5

Florida Panthers vs New Jersey Devils
This is the match up I care least about. In my opinion no matter who wins this series the next round will knock them out. Florida doesn’t have playoff stamina. Brodeur is a stallion, but does he have one more race in him? Judging by the Olympics, I’ll say no. For fun though, I will say he can lead his team out of Round 1.
Win Da Turd predicts NJD in 7

Kris Letang is better than you.

Pittsburgh Penguins vs Philadelphia Flyers
This match-up will be the series of the round. It might even end up being the series of the entire post-season. Philly and Pitt hate each other. Both have super stars in Giroux/Jagr and Crosby/Malkin. Both have hot goalies in Bryzgalov and Fleury. Both have gritty 3rd and 4th liners in Hartnell and Staal. But Pittsburgh has something that Philadelphia does not – offensive defense. Specifically Kris Letang. The man is a force. He blocks shots, kills penalties, scores goals and even plays goalie when Flower makes the occasional mistake. And Pittsburgh’s depth is embarrassingly deep. Dupuis, Neal, Kennedy, and Cooke – all aren’t afraid to take the shots and score the goals. The one Philly player like that; Max Talbot. And we all know where he learned that attitude. Pitt has this, but it won’t be easy.
Win Da Turd predicts Pens in 7

Battle of the West

Daniel Sedin takes on Doughty

Vancouver Canucks vs Los Angeles Kings
I did not want this match-up. I wanted the Sharks. Why? Two reasons. 1) Los Angeles has anger management issues. They’re always so punchy when they play us. Especially Doughty. And I don’t want any Canucks injured in the first round. Also, LA has the potential to blow up. Carter, Richards, Doughty and that pesky Quick could (let’s face it should) combine for some serious competition. That said, Canucks have defeated them in playoffs before in playoffs and I don’t see the Kings suddenly playing to their potential in such a heated environment. They tend to let emotions (I’m looking at you Doughty) ruin their chances, and I’m okay with that. Canucks will take this but it won’t be easy with Quick in net and our low scoring average of late.
Win Da Turd predicts Canucks in 6

St. Louis Blues vs San Jose Sharks
You’d think that San Jose would have the advantage here because they’ve got more playoff experience. Last year they made it to the western Conference Finals. Thornton’s tough, Marleau is skilled and when all else fails Clowe cheats like a criminal. But the fact is, St. Louis has the one player in the NHL that probably still gives Crosby and Ovechkin nightmares – Jaroslav Halak. And Brian Elliot is poised to dole out his own post traumatic stress. Add to the fact that officials, after being embarrassed on a public stage tend to hold grudges,d and Clowe did exactly that with his play from the bench. I say Sharks will fail because the ref whistles won’t favor them and karma owes Clowe a bitch-slap. Oh and Halak is a playoff beast.
Win Da Turd predicts Blues in 5

Kane and his chew toy

Phoenix Coyotes vs Chicago Blackhawks
Thank the Hockey Gods it’s not us. Phoenix has to be admired. They have no owner, no money and play in a desert. Also they have the funniest guy in the NHL, Biznasty. And Pyatt. Well, more importantly Pyatt’s pretty eyes. That said, Chicago was embarrassed in the first round last year (I still smile about that on cold winter nights) and aren’t about to let it happen again. What the Yotes have going for them is their goaltending. What Hawks have going for them is everything else. Unfortunately, Chi takes this, even if it isn’t quick. If Toews is back, it’ll be quick.
Win Da Turd predicts Hawks in 6

Nashville Predators vs Detroit Red Wings
This is going to be a good battle. Detroit hasn’t faced a first round opponent this strong in a while. But hello, they’re still Detroit. This team has a nasty habit of never giving up and scoring with seconds left on the clock. If the Wings  (I’m looking at you Datsuyk) stay healthy they’ll grind Nashville’s hopes and dreams into the ice. And let’s face it, Todd Bertuzzi’s playoff beard is very intimidating.
Win Da Turd predicts Wings in 7

For more playoff predictions and my post-game insights on the Canucks-Kings match-up please head to Canucks Hockey Blog.

Bullying in the NHL

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Today is Pink Shirt Day. It’s to raise awareness of bullying. Bullying is a serious thing that’s causing kids to kill themselves. Campaigns like Pink Shirt Day and the multiple youtube videos speaking out against bullying are hopefully letting kids know what they’re doing to each other with taunts and jeers is wrong and it will stop. But as adults we need to do more than wear a shirt in support. We need to call out bullies – adult ones.Yes that’s right bullying isn’t just a kid thing. Adults do it too. NHL ones.

Brad Marchand is a violent bully

Here’s an example of NHL bullying; Brad Marchand punching Daniel Sedin 5 times in the face after the whistle.

It’s essentially the grown-up, NHL version of stuffing a kid in a locker or giving them a wedgie.  Now before you Boston fans or Canucks haters (I’m looking at you, husband of mine) start trying to tell me “hockey is a tough sport and this is part of the game.”  It isn’t. A fight after a face-off, shoving someone down in front of the net to stop a rebound attempt, a hard check that knocks someone on their butt in the middle of the game – THAT is hockey. What Marchand did was violence for the sake of violence. He wasn’t stopping a scoring opportunity or taking on a player for a legitimate hockey fight. He was simply trying to humiliate Daniel. Picture this – a 12 year old in gym class gets punched repeatedly in the face until the teacher (ref) finally stops him. Is that bully going to get sent to the principal and disciplined? Of course. Is the kid getting punched going to feel bad about himself, yes. If you were the kid getting punched parent wouldn’t you be furious? Yes. Well you should be furious now.

Dave Bolland is a bully

Dave Bolland is another NHL bully. So is radio Host Dave Kaplan.
Both these men thought it was appropriate to call Henrik and Daniel “sisters”.  This is an attempt to belittle them or take away their manhood. Bolland went on to insult and belittle the entire city of Vancouver saying “There’s a lot of weirdoes there. You don’t want to be out there too long.” An entire city huh? I liken that to calling all the kids in the science club are “Weirdoes” or “losers.”  Not cool at 15. Not cool now, Bolland.

If Bolland was in high school and went over the PA system and said “Those Sedin twins are total girls.” Do you think the principal would call Bolland’s parents and/or dole out a punishment for his actions? Yeah. He would. So why is it okay to be a bully as an adult? Do you think that the Sedins deserve to be called names and insulted by Bolland because he doesn’t like their non-aggressive style of hockey? Do you think because they’re adults it doesn’t hurt them? They have kids. Do you think they want their kids hearing their dads called sisters? Bolland was interviewed at an intermission during the next Canucks-Hawks game and waxed poetic about what a great city Vancouver was and how skilled the Sedins were. No one was buying it. He should have just apologized. Just said “I made a mistake when I insulted this city and these players. It was immature and stupid.” But that was more than Bolland could manage. Like most bullies, he’s probably lashing out due to his own insecurity and lack of self-worth. The Sedins probably realize that but I’m sure it still sucks.

Alexandre Ovechkin's arm candy is a bully

And that takes us to Alyonka Larinov. To be clear, I am unsure of what this woman’s career is, exactly. Is she a sports announcer? An on-air personality? A professional host? Presenter? Or is she a like Kim Kardashian building a career off a famous last name? I’m not judging. She has no Wikipedia page so I’m confused. She first came to public attention as Alex Ovechkin’s award show date. And her dad was an NHL player. Somehow from those two facts she’s started being associated with NHL media, most recently as a  twitter reporter at the All-Star game.

Before the All-Star game Larinov went on Off The Record. Landsberg asked her who she would pick last and her response was “The Sedin Sisters.” Wow. Suddenly Alyonka is that pretty, but not very bright girl in high school who wants so badly for the boys to like her that she’ll say anything. Think one of the click in Mean Girls – probably Amanda Siegfried’s character.

Calling the Sedins’ “sisters” in order to get laughs is bullying. If Alyonka was in high school and did that in the middle of a crowded cafeteria (which probably had slightly less people than the nationally broadcast OTR) she’d be called a bully. Well guess what? She still is.

And why I liken her to a dimwitted Mean Girls character is because #1) she seems to be completely unaware that using her own gender as an insult is degrading herself. And #2) she then attacked a user on twitter for calling her out and tried to convince everyone that she called them sisters because “I think it a compliment. Women are beautiful & gentle & have grace. That is the Sedin’s style of hockey. If u think it’s negative”

Why is that argument not believable? Because  the use of “sisters” for the Sedins has already been established as not referring to their grace. Alyonka’s defense would be like her saying that yes, everyone calls the overweight girl in high school a “pig” because she’s obese but Alyonka calls her that because the girl lives on a farm with lots of pigs. Yeah….. sorry Aloynka, you are a bully. And you’re the worst kind. You’re doing it to become popular.

Me in my anti-bullying T

So on this day, Pink Shirt Day, I wear a pink shirt not just for the kids, like my niece and nephew, who I hope never have to go through bullying but also for Daniel and Henrik Sedin who sadly prove that being the quiet, smart, skilled person is still – even in adulthood – is like wearing a target on your back.

Tradeline Slap Shots

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The trade deadline went from anti-climatic to off-the-charts climatic in the course of one simple trade, well at least if you’re a Canucks fan.

First there was news there would be no news.
Nash went nowhere. Ott went nowhere. And while the day went on and we waited for word that might change, the Carolina Hurricanes came right out and said Bryan Allen would not go anywhere.

The Habs drop the second half of their brotherly albatross.
Kostitsyn to Nashville to be reunited with his brother. Habs fans everywhere should be thrilled they lost the second part of their brotherly dead weight. It seems Nashville is coveting the Sedins. Problem is where the Sedinary magic is blind passes and incredible goals, the Kostitsynary magic is…. Non-existent. Good luck with that Smashville, you’re going to need it.

Another Swedish Double S to Vancouver
Sammy Pahlsson to Vancouver for 2 fourth-round draft picks. Gillis’ love of all things Swede is showing again. And I’m unclear as to what kind of winning attitude a 35 year-old Columbus Blue Jacket player is going to bring, despite his Stanley Cup ring. When it first happened I thought this move screamed of the fact Gillis and AV didn’t have faith in Malholtra anymore. Although I was stumped that a veteran, heavy hitting Swede would be chosen as a fourth line backup.

Of course now we all know that wasn’t why he was chosen at all. He was chosen to be a replacement for a first round draft pick potential rookie of the year.

CoHo NoMo
I was in a meeting when this one happened – Cody Hodgson to Buffalo for Zac Kassian. Yes, it’s hard to believe with the success of this website (I think 6 people read this) that I do have a day job unrelated to hockey. The fact is, this was like being sucker punched. Hodgson has really broken out and been a solid player and goal scorer… when the Sedins have faltered, Cody has picked up the slack. The other issue here besides the obvious- that Cody is one of a small group of guys that pick up the slack when the Sedins go into a scoring- coma, is that Hodgson is young, strong talent. If we’d kept him he could have very well have been the next Captain – the next Trevor Linden. Kassian is not that person. I completely understand that Kassian is tough and a hitter and has exactly what I asked for prior to trade deadline – the potential to make cheap dirty players like Brad Marchand stop using our 1st line as a punching bag. But in my opinion we paid too high a price. This should have been Raymond for Kassian. Cody scores. Cody is full of potential and I feel like the organization worked hard to make him the player he was today. I hope I’m wrong and Kassian proves to be worth every goal we lose.